


i'm not what i've done (i'm what i've overcome)

by LittleMissAgrafina



Series: Comfortember 2020 [25]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: And its hurting, Awesome Pepper Potts, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Irondad, It sou s heavy but there is comfort and fluff i promise, Mentions of Bucky killing howard and maria, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Pepper Potts, References to Addiction, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27783172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissAgrafina/pseuds/LittleMissAgrafina
Summary: Tony's addiction started because of his father. It started and grew because the man who sired him didn't deserve the title of father.Its beginning was borne from hate and spite. Its continued existence was Tony not knowing how to live with what the alcohol had made him.And so he drank more and hated himself more.It was a vicious circle that followed its line for years later.Until Peter Parker gave him the final hope and push to step out of the circle.---Comfortember Day 30. Recovery
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Comfortember 2020 [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995808
Comments: 18
Kudos: 111
Collections: Comfortember 2020





	i'm not what i've done (i'm what i've overcome)

**Author's Note:**

> This one does get a bit heavier compared to my other works in this series so please head the tags and stay safe if any of them are triggering.  
> I also just wanna say that some people might take this as bashing Steve but I'm not bashing him. I just wrote what I genuinely think Tony would face and feel in this situation. The guy is human, it's obvious he would feel as he does towards Steve and Bucky and I feel like I had to express that in this.

  
  


Tony knew that the drinking had first started as a way to get back at his father, a way to spite him and embarrass him, but after a while his nights spent in drunken stupors grew to be his escape. A few hours of mindless joy and ability to let loose, to not feel anything but the burn of the alcohol and crap after taste of cheap beer.

  
  


A few hours that he could escape the stress and pressure of being  _ Howard Stark's son.  _ Of being the legacy, the  _ creation _ that the man was least proud of. The one he hated.

  
  


Tony's addiction started because of his father. It started and grew because the man who sired him didn't deserve the title of father.

  
  


Its beginning was borne from hate and spite. Its continued existence was Tony not knowing how to live with what the alcohol had made him.

  
  


And so he drank more and hated himself more. 

  
  


It was a vicious circle that followed its line for years later. 

  
  


Until Peter Parker gave him the final hope and push to step out of the circle.

  
  
  


\---

  
  
  


Tony sat leaning against a wall of his lab, legs stretched out in front of him and a half full scotch glass in his shaking hand.

  
  


He stared at it, cursing his weak will for not throwing out the bottle he had poured it from when Pepper and Peter helped him get rid of all the alcohol in the tower all those months ago. Almost a year by now.

  
  


He cursed the gleaming crystal bottle and he cursed the reason it had been brought out in the first place.

  
  


Steven Grant Rogers. Captain America. The head of the Rogues as they had been dubbed by numerous papers after the fallout over the accords.

  
  


The man that had been pardoned just an hour before alongside his team and the once brainwashed Winter Soldier himself.

  
  


James Buchanan Barnes. The one who killed Tony's parents.

  
  


They were both set free and on their merry little way to New York that very moment and Tony? Well, here he was, sitting alone in his lab, hands shaking and tears refusing to fall as he stared at the liquid taunting him in the glass barely gripped in his hand.

  
  


He knew, logically, that it wasn't really Barnes who had done it, that it wasn't his mind and his actions that had been the cause of the loss of Tony's parents but rather that of Hydra's manipulation and brainwashing.

  
  


But it didn't make it any easier. It made the guilt of the rage, hurt, and sadness that bubbled inside of if so much worse. In turn the guilt festered and grew mixing with very emotions that urged until he was brought here, glass in his hand and the desperate, single minded craving for the sweet sweet release of his problems and worries.

  
  


It terrified him. He didn't want to give up all that he had achieved over the last ten months, didn't want to become what he was for so many years of his life.

  
  


He didn't want to give into his demons.

  
  


So he called the people he knew would help him to be strong. He started with Pepper, his love and his rock. She answered, immediately putting aside the work she was busy with and spoke with him.

  
  


Tony told her about what had happened with Rogers and Barnes, now they were coming back, how they were all coming back. He told her of how he was craving a drink again.

  
  


He didn't tell her it was in his hand. He couldn't disappoint her that it had even gotten that far. Refused to.

  
  


Pepper was eventually called on by her secretary but Tony brushed aside her worry of leaving him alone. 

  
  


"I'll be okay, Pep. I'll go tinker or something, try and get my mind off it." He insisted.

  
  


Pepper sighed over the phone. "You can say that all you want, Tony, but I know you aren't. Call Rhodey–"

  
  


"Can't. He's in the middle of physio."

  
  


"Then call Peter. You don't have to tell him what's going on if you don't feel ready but at least call him and talk to him a bit. He loves you, Tony, and you promised you would call him if you needed anything when you made him promise the same."

  
  


"Please. Call someone."

  
  


Tony's end of the line was quiet for a moment too long in Pepper's opinion before he spoke again, his voice quiet and worn. "Okay. I will. Now go, the company calls, Ms. Potts."

  
  


"Tony..." She sighed, defeated. He was deflecting but she couldn't do anything about it. "Okay. I'll see you later. I love you."

  
  


"Love you too."

  
  


Tony stared at the phone for too long after the call ended, willing himself to do as Pepper said, when suddenly Peter's contact popped up with an incoming call.

  
  


He automatically tapped the answer and lifted it to his ear.

  
  


"Mr. Stark! You know that history essay I almost forgot about but you made me finish?" Peter immediately spoke. "I got an A+!"

  
  


Tony couldn't help the slight smile curling the corner of his mouth up. He did remember, Peter had complained about it for hours while he procrastinated until Tony eventually sat down with him and helped him.

  
  


"That's amazing, kid! Told you you could do it."

  
  


He practically felt Peter's beaming smile even through the phone at the praise. The teen stuttered slightly at it, still awkward at being praised even with his excitement over the score of the essay.

  
  


Peter started rambling on about what had happened at school that day. The story of Mr. Harrington accidentally locking up their academic decathlon flash cards absorbing Tony as he dutifully listened to Peter.

  
  


He never felt himself put down the crystal glass that he had been gripping in his hand for he didn't know how long.

  
  


Tony's attention was firmly on Peter, the lure of the amber liquid finally gone from mind for a while.

  
  


He could do this. He was stronger than his demons.

  
  


They would not ruin his recovery.

  
  


Not now, not ever.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe that I'm at the last day already!! This has been such an amazing month that I've had with you all! Thank you so so much for all the amazing amazing comments and kind words! You guys are awesome!  
> And I just wanna give a big shout out to @Scooter3scooter @superherotiger @justt-ppeachy @sdottkrames and @ninjazzz3 for all of your amazing support, encouragement, and help overall! Ily guys!  
> Also a massive shout out to Addi and Edgey! Your guys have been a massive help as betas! Thank you  
> Hugs to everyone!!  
> Agra


End file.
